Mom's take on my life:

"You go to parties, you drink some beer, you drink some booze, maybe you smoke some dope, Priya, you have to think about the future!"

Seriously Mom,

Could you be any more The Dad from Better Off Dead? "Come on! You're really...*reads from "How to Talk to Your Teenager", triumphant voice* bringing me off!"
Mom, I know I've said this before, but a busy night for me is getting to watch a DVD at night before I fall asleep. Beer, Booze and/or Dope don't play a part in my life anymore.

Love,
-Priya

Sigh, I'm old.