I just read my horoscope in the LA Weekly, and it sucks. Here:

Is the cavalry really coming? June Crabs may benefit from a friendly and determined Scorpio sun shining light on a long-standing financial matter. Will it be resolved before Mercury turns direct on the 1st or will you have to wait until mid-November, when the Messenger is back in Scorpio? Crabs born around Independence day have bee dealing with an inventive but unpredictable Uranus in Pices for over a year. Now that take-action Mars is in your sign, are you about to take the next step? Maybe not. Mars goes retrograde on 11/15, a week before Uranus turns direct.

Did any of you catch that? All I got was "blah blah blah, blah blah, Uranus, blah blah."