RAPIST

I am for equality.

I try to make the world a little better by giving every person - regardless of the colour of their skin, their sexuality, nationality, or gender - a blank slate when I first meet them. It is up to that individual to give me a good or bad impression of their character. Mostly it's worked out to my benefit.

Sometimes it backfires really fucking badly.

I used to believe that even though some of my friends are male, I could trust them because they knew me as a person and wouldn't try to take advantage of me sexually. Even as the number of trusted men dwindled, I believed. Last night I was forced to do a tally: to date, every straight male friend of mine has betrayed me, except one, and I haven't even spoken to him in almost a year. I can no longer rule him out, even though his parents raised him right and he clearly knows what's what. And that's what I mean by suffering. I can no longer go out with my friend because he's a guy and every other man in my life (excluding relatives!) has violated my physical trust to some degree.

Guys: Does it bother you that no female will ever completely trust you? That you will always be a predator...no matter how many times you have proved that you aren't? That now the slate that you are offered is no longer blank, but inscribed with the word RAPIST and it is up to you to erase those words with every enounter? And that you are never in the clear, that those words won't be erased, until you and your female friend have parted ways...because you could go bad at the last second? It hurts me to know these things. There are tears running down my face as I type these words: I can't trust men. I don't trust men.

They don't deserve it.