I was scheduled to throw a hissy fit of epic proportions this afternoon regarding the Montreal trip (for those of you playing at home, I don't want to go, my parents basically strong-armed me into it since it's a Family Function), but as I was gearing up my mom told me that my grandmother (her mom) had been re-diagnosed with Hodgkin's Lymphoma (she'd been in remission for two years), and wherever it had previously been, it had now spread.
"We're going to be taking family portraits this weekend," my mom said. She said it extremely casually, with almost no effect (she was talking about getting my bangs trimmed) but what I think she actually suspects we're on The Final Countdown.
Nobody in my family would dare use those words, because we're all a bunch of pansies who can't just fess up about painful shit like this. We just bottle it inside for the sake of decorum, and maybe to unleash on someone totally unsuspecting so we can shock them into giving us something we want. Usually this is how I would prefer it (you know me: I'm ALL FOR decorum), but I want someone to break down the wall of good manners and just tell me what's going on for once, in plain language, without trying to manipulate the information, or me, or anything.
I want to know what I'm supposed to do - I still have all of my grandparents. The only person close to me who ever died did so as a Marine in Afghanistan (in January 2004)...and I didn't even like him that much when I knew him, to be honest. I haven't thought about him for a couple of years now, but when I do, it still hurts.
And he's just a casual acquaintance.
Sorry for the artlessness of this post, but I just wanted to let everyone know why I stopped fighting it all of a sudden. I have a family portrait to be in.