Sunday, December 14, 2008

Mantra

Marion and I have a favourite saying. It is: "A little self-awareness, please!" And we use it when someone is being stupid in really obvious, uncreative ways. A really good example is the time we were eating lunch somewhere and we overheard a girl talking about how rent in New York is exorbitant (well, she didn't use that word, but...), "probably because so many people want to be there!" REALLY, ASSHOLE?

Anyway. I find myself repeating our mantra so much these days. It's not very much in the holiday spirit, but it's very much an effect the holiday season has on me. I'm not very charitable. Hence my reaction to this headline on MSN.com:



Um, maybe if you didn't look like such a recently paroled ex-con? Just sayin'.

This brings up a whole other rant (which I will keep short) on why guys come to me for advice on how to snag "a cool girl" when they know I'm just going to keep giving them the same advice:
1. get rid of the creative facial hair, like, forever
2. stop quoting The Big Lebowski (also forever), and
3. wear a tie and iron your shirts.
As a matter of fact, just stop doing everything you think is fun or cool for a while. When we've warmed up to you you can slowly reintroduce things you're interested in. Hey, don't look at me like that - you wanted to know. And don't think you're the only one who has to sacrifice to get laid: we have to pretend that we think you're funny. And that's a pain in the ass, too. So, barring self-awareness, wear a tie. It will probably work, and then you can fucking thank me.

4 comments:

Rolling Meme said...

John's counteradvice to Priya's advice:

1) That chick is not a cool chick if you have to do all that shit to "snag" her.

Just sayin.

We should have a video blog where we discuss/argue about this kind of thing.

It'd be fun.

Also, when the eff are you and Marion coming to see us?

Priya said...

John, I totally agree. But people who say "a cool chick" aren't looking for a chick that is actually cool. Otherwise:
1. They wouldn't be coming to me for advice because I'm too cool to help them actually meet actual cool girls, and
2. They also wouldn't need me to tell them that ties are in because guys that look for actual cool chicks are actually cool themselves.

PS. You gave me a ladyboner with that idea. I'm on board. We wouldn't have keep it just to dating, either, though that is a minefield rife with new assholes for us to tear (if I may mix, um, three [?] metaphors).

Chibi said...

"A little self-awareness, please!"

LOVE. IT. Mind if I borrow it? I know all kinds of people to use it on...

Priya said...

Oh, by all means. The more people who know that they need to have a little self-awareness (please), the better!