Return from Hell

Oh my god you guys, WORST DAY EVER.

Today - okay, USUALLY, I set alarms to wake me up in the morning at 8, 8:03, and 8:05AM. After those few alarms I'm usually awake enough to doze until exactly 8:40, at which point I'll get out of bed and take a shower/get ready, whatever. TODAY, though, I woke up fully at 8:15 and decided to do the responsible thing and start my journey to work HALF AN HOUR EARLY! An anomaly. Anyway, I got to my bus stop at 9AM, and knew I was going to be on time for the 9:06 bus for the first time in months. BUT THEN NO BUSES CAME UNTIL 9:50, making me a full 15 minutes later than usual. WHYYYYYYY? So then I get to work and have to do an hour's worth of work in like 12 minutes to make up for being late. But I managed to do it, and settled in for a typically slow day at work. And then, just as I managed to have one or two thoughts in a row, a whole slew of other terrible things happened to me, many of which included me riding the bus to and from Beverly Hills (and if you've ever done that, you'll join me in saying NEVER AGAIN), and I was pretty much ready to kill myself by about 3.

*deep sigh*

So that was my day.

Yesterday, though, well, my two days off in a row were totally bomb. For those of you blissfully unaware, "bomb" means "cool" in West-Coaster. I'm pretty mortified that I just used it, and I was going to delete it, but...ah, fuck it. Too lazy to go back. I don't think the laws of kinetics apply to typing in one's blog, but I would much rather move forward than go back and rethink whatever it was I just deleted.

Oh my god, someone totally just tried to hit on me, and oh, Good Sir, no. It's nice to meet a guy here that's nervous and weird around me, but, COME ON. Do not say the words, "I'm just horribly nervous" aloud. It won't help your cause - I mean, I loved Notting Hill, but there can really only be one Hugh Grant. And now Hugh2 is gone. And after I had thought up that funny nickname for him and everything! Too bad, I was looking forward to making Kyle come back here and give him the Stink Eye; I so rarely get a chance to do that.

OKAY, back to my mid-week weekend (that was a pleasant - if terrifying - diversion into my psyche, though, wasn't it?).
Thursday, I did lots of laundry, and folded clothes, and discovered/explored the internet cafe near our apartment. Then I went back home and made some Annie's mac and cheese. So delicious! I've literally gone through like 45 boxes in the last year. And then Kyle came home from work and we got tacos at this taco truck that parks a street away, and it's seriously the BEST food to eat at 1AM. And then I took Kyle to the internet cafe, and he was appropriately cowed in the face of my discovery. Anyway, I realize now that I didn't technically do very much that day, but the last two activities managed to put a very positive glow on the preceding 12 hours. Oh, and I was also wearing my newly repaired riding boots all day, so that was cool.

Then on Friday, Kyle and I woke up and went to the bank and dealt with all sorts of typical bank bullshit (Washington is on a separate grid from all the other 49 states of the Union - or that was their excuse for being so abysmally incapable of doing anything that didn't make me want to rend my garments in dismay - so when we tried to transfer our accounts it took like 20 hours). After that, we went to Chipotle and I had my customary chicken burrito bol. I'm inspired to tell you how to make my favourite Chipotle dish, so here is what goes into it: rice, black beans, chicken, pico de gallo, corn, sour cream, cheese and lettuce. YUM. I wish Chipotle delivered. I wish that so very much.

Speaking of delivery, oh god, I'm getting ahead of myself. I'll get back to that.

So then after Chipotle, we saw Into the Wild, which was really very well done. I usually hate it when good books are made into movies (did you know they're coming out with a movie version of Love in the Time of Cholera? AAAUUGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!), but this time it was pulled off with some aplomb, so kudos to Sean Penn, and especially to Emile Hirsch. I had to explain what the movie was about to a girl I know, and, well, she's 17 so, no, she has no memory at all of the actual news story upon which this movie was based. God. *shudder* Young people. She also referred to 70's music as "classical music", and then my head exploded. Okay, so, after the heartbreak that was that movie, Kyle and I walked around the Grove (a shopping centre), and went home. Then we lounged around for about an hour and a half, and then we went to Hollywood Video and bought Bad Boys, Ghostbusters I, and Snatch. Then we went to Ralph's (grocery store) and bought cookies and snackies. Then we went home and watched Bad Boys. And then we went to the internet cafe and I educated him about Facebook a little more. Oh, that's right! I made Kyle get a Facebook account! Mostly I wanted it so I could be in a "relationship" with him, but I found when the time came that I couldn't bear to break off my "it's complicated" with Marion, so...oh well, now Kyle has fallen prey to the addictive properties of Facebook and my work is done. I can be pretty satisfied with that outcome.

So, back to Speaking of Delivery: Kyle and I have been getting these flyers in our mailbox and attached to our doorknob recently about all these Domino's deals, and one of the coupons features a deal called Home Alone, where you pay like 10 bucks and get a personal pizza and a 12 oz soda. How sad is that? Kyle and I like to put on our gentle, non-judgemental friend voices and go, "Hey you...It's me, Domino's! [not too much affect here; we're being gentle remember] What'cha doin'? Home alone again? Don't beat yourself up, you earned it! Well, I was just thinkin' I could come over and bring ya a small pizza and a soda, just for you, just for 10 dollars, for a limited time, you know...what do ya think? Okay, well, call me...you know, no pressure...I'm here...whenever!"

In other news, if you're looking for entries wherein I tear New York a new asshole, check here and/or here!

Man, I am ROCKING the HTML you guys. I need to get over it. I can't go around announcing the fact that I just used HTML every time I use it. Though - for the record - it has yet to cease impressing me. It's nice to be able to be proud of your accomplishments, however depressingly minute they might be.

Oh, I've been lax with the celebrity reporting; last week I was talking excitedly/shouting with/at Kyle as we walked down the street, and I locked eyes with Andy Richter. Then I turned to Kyle and said loudly, "Oh, guess who I just saw?" and Richter ducked all furtively, which was hilarious, since I was about to launch into a story about a hobo who has shown me his penis twice now. I know, I'm so sullied. Don't worry, it wasn't in an erotic setting, it was just that instead of turning towards a wall to urinate, he turned towards me and did it. I know, I don't get it either. The worst part was I was looking RIGHT at his crotch when it happened - he was wearing these huge silver rings on all his fingers, and I was staring at the rings, because my inner magpie made me do it, and then he whipped out his, you know, his thing. A piece of my soul (the part that had only seen the genitals of people with whom I was very close) died that day.

ANYWAY, enough about that...this post is long, huh? Kisses if you managed to read this far. I tried to stay interesting; let me know if I succeeded. Also, please take this opportunity - if you haven't yet - to tell me you read. I mean, unless my audience really is comprised of just lulu. That would be great, I guess, I just think I should know if I need to start beginning all my entries like this:

"Dear Lulu,

Wow, it's been so long since I last wrote!..."