I'm pretty sure we're an old married couple

I have to write this down.

Just now, Kyle and I were making out on our bed, and when things started to get more serious, we started debating the pros and cons of going further. "Meh, I just ate, and we're going out for the night pretty soon, and - " Finally I got sick of all the discussion and said, "I know, let's go through the IKEA CATALOG!&" and Kyle said, "yeah, that's sexy, too!" So we did.

It truly is terrifyingly sad to be old.