Note to Self

Dear Priya of half an hour ago,

You usually get a Grande Hot Chocolate, light whip. You upgraded from Tall when you were about 12 years old. That was almost 10 years ago. I know you're hungry and cold, and you figure there's just enough time before the next bus arrives to hop into Starbucks and upgrade again, to Venti, but this is a terrible mistake. There isn't just a lot more hot chocolate in a Venti than there is in a Grande...there's a fuck of a lot more. And you will feel an otherworldly compulsion to finish it. For the love of all that is right, do not buy that drink, or all the tummy-curdling lactose overdose crampy pain in the world will be visited upon you.

Soon you will be me, and that's sad.

Love,
-Priya