January NaBloPoMo

Hey guys, you'll notice I put a little image in the left margin - it says January NaBloPoMo. NaBloPoMo stands for National Blog Posting Month. It started in November a few years ago as NaNoWriMo - National Novel Writing Month, wherein a bunch of fucking crazy people got together and tried to write a full-length novel by writing a certain number of words every day for just ONE MONTH omfg. I mean...crazy like a fox. I do want to try it sometime. Anyway. It's morphed into this thing where you can opt into any month you want and try to post every day during that month, not just November. I did this in 2007 and 2008 (it's actually really hard to believe it's been that long since I tried it again [TWO YEARS?] - apparently I really was traumatized by it, haha). You can find those posts by clicking on the pertinent tabs under this entry. So...that's what that's all about. Looks like posting will be another thing I leave till the next decade. In the meantime, I'll girding my loins (read: fortifying my underground bunker) for the inevitable clash of the amateurs that New Year's Eve will be. I suggest you do the same.

PS. I'm, like, compulsively trying to come up with a dirty joke for Girding My Loins = Fortifying My Underground Bunker...and still I got nothing. Help?!

It's December Already????

So, that was November. I did NaBloPoMo, and even though I posted every day, I lost internet connectivity halfway through and that really took the juice out of it for me. My content was more lacking than usual, which was the EXACT OPPOSITE of the point. In any case, I'm proud that I did it, in whatever capacity. I will do it again next year and it will be better...that's all you can really ask for, right? Just to get better and better. Thanks for putting up with this. One of these days I'm going to sit in front of a PC and reformat all these shits I've been sending from my phone into real blog entries, and maybe even type some new blog entries while I'm at it. Maybe tomorrow! But probably not.

I love you guys. You're the best.

Raw Diet

You may remember that I've been toying with the idea of starting a Raw Diet recently, in an effort to get more of that Discipline I so sorely lack, and to lose some of the holiday times fayat which I am so angrily carting around. Well, today I heard something - from an expert, I'll have you know - that anything Pasteurized is out. As in, not allowed. No juice, no milk, none of that. This is besides the original travesty of No Chipotle. Sorry, Raw Diet, but fuck you. I'm still interested in your distant cousins, the Vegetarian and Vegan Diets, though. Not in a creepy way. But holla atcha girl.

Whatever that means.

You Want to be Me...You Just Don't Know It Yet.

JOKING.

Except for the fact that I totally saw Craig Ferguson yesterday, and OMG you guys? Heart. Kissies. Case closed.

In other news, work has taken a turn for the worse recently, and I think I might have to throw a professional hissy fit. I'm not looking forward to this, since my boss terrifies me. I might have to channel this girl at work, A, who is totally balls (the good kind). She will demand what she knows is fair (her current crusade at work is getting them to pay for health insurance that covers birth control), and from I know of her previous exploits, she usually gets it. Balls. The good kind.

Now I'm watching Kyle play Final Fantasy I (the Nintendo game) via emulator on our Dell laptop. Last night I fell asleep at 7:45 pm and didnt wake up until 8 this morning. It was fucking amazing. I should do that every night. In fact, I think I'll start getting ready for bed and see if 11 hours of sleep is as good as 12 was.

No, Really. The Little Things. Or: What is this post ABOUT?!

After posting last night about how envious I am of people with washer/dryer hookups in their apartments, I put a load of socks (yes, just socks) in the washer and forgot about them. In our communal laundry room. Fuck! But they were still there this morning, albiet not as fluffy as they would have been if they hadn't been neglected terribly all night. Still, though. I wouldn't have bolted awake at 6:30 this morning if I had left them in a dryer IN MY OWN APARTMENT, would I?

It's Definitely the Little Things

M2: *conducting tour of apartment* ...and this is our bedroom! The end.

Priya: *peering into the bathroom* Oh, you guys have a washer and dryer? I bet you do laundry, like, whenever you feel like it, huh?

M2: yes...?

Priya: I hate you.

This is some BS right here.

Last night I went out with KJ. We were supposed to see Enchanted at the $7 theatre (anything to get out of the house, I guess), but when we had finished our Johnny Rocket's and pulled up to the theatre, we found that it was closed. Even though KJ supposedly looked it up on google and everything. Tsk. So we went to Pavilions (a grocery store) and bought a 6 pack, a pint of Ben and Jerry's chocolate fudge brownie ice cream, and retired to her apartment to watch episodes of The Office.

It was a night very well spent.Now, Kyle's in the kitchen (with Dinah) making me some Ramen because I'm craving the MSG or whatever heinous product it is that makes things taste so devilishly good. DON;T make any pregnancy jokes, which lots of people seem to be doing lately. Ugh. I mean, I get it, the appeal of children, and some day I hope to have, like, one of my own MAYBE, but jesus. I can't handle children. If I could meet a kid that at least acted domesticated, if not civilized, I would relent. Alas, not today.

Bus of Thought

Last night, Kyle and I put together our IKEA bed. It's amazing. I'm actually on my way home to hug it and kiss it right now. I have the next two days off. Thank god for that; I had a TERRIBLE day today. It was so unneccessarily, ridiculously difficult to get anything done, thanks to the relative stupidity of my coworkers. Any instance where I had to explain something to an underling that required them to infer anything, even the simplest of skipped steps, would cause them to stop the presses and either ask me to start from the beginning or fuck up the task so thoroughly I wanted to break their necks over my knee. Multiply this experience by eight hours, the entirety of my workday, and you will catch a glimpse of the bloodcurdling scream I have building up in the back of my throat. This misery did, however, give me justification to buy myself sushi for dinner again. To cheer myself up, you know. Regain some perspective on the purpose of humanity's continuing.

For some reason, I just kept walking to the back of the bus just now till I got to the homeless people section, and then there was nothing to do but sit down among them. Now I'm awash in the smell of human exhalations and ammonia. Unfortunately, I so frequently spend my days surrounded by the evidence of bad manners that I'm hypersensitive to displaying any myself. So I would rather smell homeless than look rude. Oh well, who do I have to impress anyway? I'm going straight home, and if anything persists I'll take my coat to the dry cleaners tomorrow. And if anyone tries any funny business I'll kick them in the groin, but if I know homeless people, they won't. They're too terrified that my phone is a manifestation of alien technology, or that my purse is looking at them.

Aaaand there goes my bus stop. I was distracted by a black man barking at me as the doors were open at his stop to get my attention and then waving his phone at me in a "Call Me!" kind of way. I yelled "EW!" to try and make him rethink his approach to life a little, and the look on his face as the bus shut its doors and pulled away kept me so entertained that I missed my stop. Serves me right for being smug.

Good thing I'm so self aware. If I weren't, I would be getting more and more bitter, instead of gaining this current amused detachment from my personal improvement. Amused detachment. Yes.

In any case, I made it home finally. I have to go wash the homeless smell off myself now. It would be kind of a sexy image on which to end this post if it wasn't so... utterly disgusting, no?

Isn't this better than me forgetting to post at all?

Kyle and I had a fantastic Thanksgiving and Black Friday. On Thursday, we went to M2 and D's aunt's house in Long Beach. Turkey, cranberry sauce, and 1/2 a pumpkin pie went home with us. I protested at the time but now that I think about it, a piece of pumpkin pie would go down rather smoothly right about now...That night, we went to M2 and D's apartment - also in Long Beach - and played Balderdash and watched Conan O'Brien until the wee hours. We slept on their futon so we could get up bright and early to participate in the madness known as Black Friday, the shoppingest day of the year.

This morning M2 and I went to JC Penny to pick up a special pillow for D, and Nordstrom Rack so I could buy TWO PAIRS OF SHOES for 60 DOLLARS. Then we met up with Kyle and D, who met us elsewhere in Long Beach for lunch (Indian food!) and more shopping at Buffalo Exchange. I could very easily have spent a significant chunk of change there, but I exercised some restraint for once, because I knew we were heading to...IKEA!!!!!!!!!!!! We went to IKEA and bought a BED. With a mattress! And a headboard, and EVERYTHING. And it's getting delivered tomorrow, and Kyle will be off for the day to build it! Isn't it nice when everything comes together to benefit you? Yeah, it is. And it happens so infrequently that this year, it is how I began my "What I am Thankful For" List.

Thanksgiving 2007

Was a rousing success. Turkey, friends, Balderdash...it's bedtime. Yes! Food coma!

Internets

I think now is as good a time as ever to divulge the following facts:
- I had sushi for dinner yesterday AND today,
- we steal our internet from an unknown neighbor, so when I lose connectivity it's not so much the fault of our ISP as someone's internet schedule not aligning perfectly with mine. This person is clearly not a participant in NaBloPoMo.

Thanksgiving tomorrow promises to be quite fun. I'm in love with turkey and cranberry sauce, and with eating in general, so I plan to make the most possible from my one culture-sanctioned day of gluttony. I'm going to go to bed now, because I need to rest up. I'm serious about this. Also, the timestamp is correct...I'm posting this from my phone at 9pm. Zzzzzzz!

Thanksgiving Prep

This week is killing me softly. I can't wait till Thursday. I managed to get Thursday AND Friday off...shopping is MINE! And everybody else's. There will be sales!! And I'm gonna buy the SHIT out of everything. Here's a math equation to show you how I feel.

But first, let me apologize for using math in any capacity other than to tell you how many tequilas is too many (for the record, ONE tequila is too many). Now for the math and feelings n' shit.

Raise + Rent not a part of this paycheck's budgetary deductions = (Priya's Normal Buying Power)X3.5

Now you watch this video. Yay!



Found, courtesy of Heather Armstrong, at Dooce.

Okay, now that we've been officially thrown WAYYYY off track, how are you guys liking my video embedding recently? Badass, no? Awesome, or totally awesome? I vote for FUCKING AWESOME!!!!

I'm in a weird mood, obviously. I can't think of anything today. Have you noticed that I have totally given up on that 5 coherent paragraphs a day thing? It's hard enough posting anything at all, much less something that others would care about. My schedule's been all fucked up recently. For a while there Kyle and I were scheduled for the same time every day, so we'd get off and actually have like six hours to kill until bedtime. It was weird, but fun. So that's where those few days went, where all I posted was, "OMG" and "Why DID I siGN uP 4 ThIz NaBloPoMo B\ullShizznit?!?!!" But I'm back now. Until Thursday.

For Thanksgiving, Kyle and I are going to M2 and Dave's Aunt's house in Long Beach. Then we're sleeping over at their apartment and...Dave called me earlier and asked if I wanted to go to Six Flags. Welllll, I'm not a big fan of the Hepatitis, so not really? But I didn't want to sound like a bitch. So maybe I'll go and have a funnel cake or something. That would pretty much make the day a success, as far as I'm concerned. That, and not getting a venereal disease.

What can I say? I'm ambitious.

Now I'm going to wash my face, brush my teeth, and lie quietly in bed until my thoughts stop screaming around inside my skull. Maybe I will be back for Tetris (did you see I put a link up so you could play Tetris too?)

Note to Self

Dear Priya of half an hour ago,

You usually get a Grande Hot Chocolate, light whip. You upgraded from Tall when you were about 12 years old. That was almost 10 years ago. I know you're hungry and cold, and you figure there's just enough time before the next bus arrives to hop into Starbucks and upgrade again, to Venti, but this is a terrible mistake. There isn't just a lot more hot chocolate in a Venti than there is in a Grande...there's a fuck of a lot more. And you will feel an otherworldly compulsion to finish it. For the love of all that is right, do not buy that drink, or all the tummy-curdling lactose overdose crampy pain in the world will be visited upon you.

Soon you will be me, and that's sad.

Love,
-Priya

Sucking it UP

Hey!

I know. You're shocked. I'm in front of a computer, about to do a real live real blog entry. Your head's exploding (or, as a recent Viagra email said, eploding). Eploding. Pronounced Eeee-Pl-OH-ding. That makes me giggle.

I want to apologize for missing the mark completely with my Domestic Disturbance post the other day. What I meant to say - without coming right out and saying it - was that when you're committed to a relationship, you don't just get up and walk away, even if you have planned to do so. You suck the hardship up and deal with it, because what you would lose if you gave up is more than what you currently lack. Does that make sense? Clearly, I need to try harder with this "writing" thing.

The fact that that post failed so miserably is disheartening in a lot of ways - people used to say I was a good writer, and I thought I at least had potential. But the first time I actually try to "show, and not tell", the way Mrs.B always told us to in High School, it didn't work. At all. Am I only good enough to write the easy funny shit? Something to think about.

Ummm, how to put this?

I]m sitting here in front of my computer, but I have a strange aversion to the idea of turning it on and doing a real post. I cant even apologize for this behavior. I honestly don't know what's gotten into me. Probably the enjoyment of my non-internet life is causing these feelings. I don't want to waste time while it's going on around me.

Unfortunately for me, I just showed Kyle this entry and he said, "hm, that's nice," and logged on to ESPN.com, so apparently the feelings aren't mutual. You'll have to excuse me while I chop his dick off and throw it out the window of a moving car. Maybe I'll be in Houston for Christmas after all!

Orlando Bloom, bitches.

Enough said. Please feel absolutely free to lay down at my feet and die a painful death of envy. He's WAY hotter in real life than he's ever been on celluloid. Take my word for it. You'll have to, because I've seen him with my own two eyeballs, and you haven't.

Thoughtless

AH.

Under the Wire

I have had a bitch of a day, guys. I can't really go into it, but suffice it to say that I am going to flex my Middle Management Muscles and refuse to do something in order to make my own life a little more tolerable. Is that terrible of me? I don't think so. I think I have to learn to use my power, and get used to that not necessarily being Abuse of Power, and not get so paranoid that it's not corrupting me absolutely or whatever. Well, I don't have absolute power, so it would be corrupting me just a little bit more than it did before. But HEY! That is not why I came here. I came here because I have to throw this under the bus and get out of the way before it...

Okay, I think there might have been some confusion when I first signed up for this NaBloPoMo thing...

Domestic Disturbance

The relationship my boyfriend and I have is a simple one. Our longevity as a couple is, I think, rooted in the idea that our main goal is to keep the other person happy. That includes being funny, provoking deep thought, and snuggling. What it does not include is being disappointed, crying, and the first implications that we are starting to not know each other anymore.

Kyle's work schedule and mine are almost mutually exclusive. If you know me, we have already had this conversation, as it is a source of unending consternation for me. I apologize for the repeat, but this blog does not revolve around you. It revolves around NaBloPoMo.
I work from 10 to 5pm most days, which makes it necessary for me to be out of the house by 9 sharp. Kyle works from 3 to 11:30, which means he gets home at 12:15. The problem with this schedule is that I'm usually up and out of the house before he even thinks about doing the same, and am fast asleep by the time he gets home. We usually try to take advantage of the fact that we work down the street from each other by visiting in the middle of the work day, but these encounters last for less than half an hour. The most time we get to spend together is on the days we have off at the same time, and this happens rarely. The longest stretch of time so far that I have gone without having a conversation other than "how's your day going? let's eat! seeya later!" has been 14 days, and it's about to get worse. My recent promotion goes hand in hand with a change in schedule, so I'm waving goodbye to my coveted weekends as I write this. And when we do have days off, one or both of us will want to spend time with friends, instead. Not that we don't want to spend time with each other. It's just that there are only so many hours in the day, and, well, FRIENDS, dude. You gotta have 'em.
There have been many instances of "ships passing in the night" in the last few months. One of us will roll over in bed and grab the other, only to be sharply informed that the window for conversation or play has closed. I mean, you're either the Sexy Renegade who stood up for love and righteousness and was slapped smartly back down, or you're the evil Sleep Dictator who hates happiness. Either way, one of these interactions is perfect for making you hate yourself or raise a seriously malevolent middle finger at your significant other's back.

When Kyle and I first started dating, we told each other that if we were unhappy, we'd end it. It just made sense. We aren't married or anything. We don't have kids. We would just have one of those "state of the union" talks and maturely decide that it wasn't worth our misery anymore. Ah, for the logic of the Early Days. I'm just starting to realize that it may not be that simple.

Internet Still on the Fritz

Sorry guys, I have no idea what's going on with my computer. I have noticed, however, that my sidekick seems to have joined forces with my laptop by refusing to scroll down. GAH. Usually this wouldn't be an issue, but it's November. NaBloPoMo and all that. Take solace in the idea that I'm using this time away from the computer and the cloying wiles of Tetris to write an entry that is truly from the heart.