Mindy Kaling is Killing Me

I sometimes imagine a few celebrities as my friends. This usually only works for a couple of minutes, because I chose them as my "friends" in the first place because I admire them. And my ego is too weak to be constantly outwitted by my friends. I need to have friends whom I can occasionally dazzle. People like Chuck Klosterman, Morrissey, Bruce Willis...they seem like people who could really bring a conversation (or at least a hefty dose of the sexy) to the table, you know? But it would be too much. Chuck would be too clever and altogether too unimpressed, Morrissey would be - god love him - exhausting, and Bruce Willis would mesmerize me with his teeth and I would just sit there staring at his sweet little dimples with my mouth all agape and that would be all she wrote.

Mindy Kaling, however, and yes I know I've written about this already dammit...I think I could be friends with her. Like real friends! For more than just a couple of minutes! The fantasy could get too real and as the wavy "dream sequence" lens lifted from the scene we'd still be shopping and laughing, LAUGHING!!!!!! But not as creepy as that looks. Okay, from the top.
Never mind, there's no way for me to go over this without sounding like a freak so forget it. And now she's going to google her own name (no points deducted, everyone does that) and find this and we'll NEVER be friends! Not to mention the fact that I'm pretty sure once you're famous you can only make friends with other famous people, and/or keep a select few of the friends you had before you made it big.

*pouts* Seriously though, whenever I read her website I get pangs. And this isn't because I don't think she's brilliant! I do! It's just that she's not afraid of saying "and I like me some shiny things too." THERE'S A WHOLE POST ON HER BLOG ABOUT SHOES WITH BOWS, PEOPLE. SHOES WITH FUCKIN' BOWS ON. That's amazing. I worship at the temple of Shoes With Bows, are you freaking KIDDING ME!? Is this starting to sound like the small town Indiana girl who moves to Hollywood with the dream, nay, the goal of getting married to George Clooney? Because if it is, that was not my intention. I feel like deleting this whole post out of embarrassment but I pretty much spent half an hour typing this and at this point I've cycled around to "oh god, that's terrifying...I can't believe I typed this...someone should find this amusing though, huh?" Okay, POST!