Monday, April 28, 2008

Terrible (Awesome) Girlfriend

Sometimes I like to hassle Kyle about being a guy. Like, a male. There's a whole line of questioning that begins with inquiries about a specifically male characteristic, and gets more and more vague until, well...It goes like this:

Priya: Does it bother you to have hair on your chest?
Kyle: It kind of freaked me out at first, but not anymore.
Priya: Were you prepared for it? Cause when I was younger, all girls ever talked about was who had boobs and whether ours would be big when we finally got them.
Kyle: Really?
Priya: Okay, it wasn't ALL we talked about, but, yes, we did talk about it. Did you talk about hairy chests?
Kyle: No.
Priya: Why?
Kyle: I don't know...
Priya: Were you afraid it would make you gay?
Kyle: What?
Priya: Do you ever wish you didn't have hair on your chest?
Kyle: ...No? I don't really think about it.
Priya: You don't wish you maybe had a nice smooth chest like miiiiine?
Kyle: No. Because YOU have a smooth chest and I can enjoy it from here.
Priya: Are you jealous that you don't have one?
Kyle: No.
Priya: Are you jealous that you have a penis where your vagina should be?
Kyle: Oh my god.
Priya: Does that bother you?
Kyle: ...
Priya: Does it?
Kyle: ...
Priya: I bet it does.

It always ends with me wondering if he's mad that he doesn't have a vagina. Hahahahaha. Oh, and it's really important to start out with an almost childlike curiosity and end on a kind of dark, gender-studies-gone-wrong note. Remind me to tell you about the "Do you love me more than that girl on the bus whose butt you commented on? Why don't you just ask her to be your girlfriend?" game. That one is a real laugh riot, too.

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