At the conclusion of every Inside the Actor's Studio episode, James Lipton (the host) asks his guest a series of 10 questions. I was just listening to a Ricky Gervais podcast episode and decided to answer them myself, because I'm due for a post and have nothing to say. I finished all the House episodes and ran out of Californication episodes (I got up to Season 2, Episode 2, so if anyone out there knows where I can find any others, let me know!), which means that tonight I will be sleeping instead of thinking.
Anyway, here are the questions. And the answers.
1. What is your favorite word?
I have two: "ostensibly," because it's awesome to use when you're drunk, and "evidently," which I like to use in a sarcastic way.
2. What is your least favorite word?
"Moist," especially out loud. *shudder*
3. What turns you on?
A good read and solitude. And that is not a cutesy way of saying "Literotica and privacy".
4. What turns you off?
Pretty much everything.
5. What sound do you love?
Jangly new wave guitars.
6. What sound do you hate?
Voices. My own, other people's; I'm not picky. The world would be a better place if everyone would shut the fuck up.
7. What is your favorite curse word?
Fuck, but I have to stop saying it as often as I do. It's just wrong. And also it doesn't have as much of an impact when I do use it.
8. What profession other than yours would you like to attempt?
Um, any profession would be a profession other than the one I already have. My current profession is - actually, doesn't "profession" imply that I get paid for whatever it is I do? I don't get paid. So...but I get the point of the question, so I'll play ball.
I would like to be someone who writes for National Geographic. They get to travel all over the world and get access to really interesting things.
9. What profession would you not like to do?
I would not like to be someone who writes for National Geographic. I bet they have to poop in buckets a lot, 'cause it's not like they stay at the Ritz-Carlton when they're on assignment in the Congo. Also, I read this article in NatGeo where the author got taken hostage by some rebel force leader and made to poop in a bucket. Pooping in buckets is not part of what I do. Pooping at all isn't part of what I do.
10. If heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the pearly gates?
I thought my categorical rejection of the Judeo-Christian religions would preclude me from any Pearly Gates action, but if God Himself did deign to speak to me, I would like him to say, "You Were Right."