Tuesday, September 23, 2008

White Boys

I just started watching Californication. That show with David Duchovny? On Showtime? YOU KNOW. At first I hated how sad it made me. I still hate that, but I love who the character has turned out to be. And I like it for one of the same reasons I like Entourage, and those 2 episodes of Sex and the City: it takes place in LA and I love watching the scenery pan by and recognizing it.

David Duchovny was the second celebrity crush I ever had (the first one being Mark-Paul Gosselaar back when he was a blonde), from way back in 5th grade, when I was way into the X-Files, which was so far back that I didn't even realize that he was a celebrity crush. Hey, I was 11. I didn't know there were such things as "Top 5 Fuckable Celebs" lists.

I think he kind of set the template for the men I love now. Which is funny, because just today, Kyle told me that he thinks David has "a stupid face." Don't talk too much smack about him, dear - he's the reason I'm into you, tall, dark, charming like you are, obsessively anguished like you can be. If it hadn't been for David, I might still be into blondes...god knows what that Priya would have been like.


Rolling Meme said...

David Duchovny hosted a softcore porn show on Showtime or Cinemax called Red Shoe Diaries. I used to watch that all the time when I was 23.

I mean 12.

Look it up, it's hilarious.

Rolling Meme said...


Took a really long time to load for me.

Also, Lauren was never supposed to know about the premium cable soft core pornography I watched nervously in my parents' house when I was twelve. YOU'VE RUINED EVERYTHING.

David Duchovny a sex addict? Who saw it coming?

Rolling Meme said...

And Owen Wilson.

And Jeff Goldblum.

I think your friend is onto something.

Jordan said...

i have totally seen the red shoe diaries.
and until i read the last paragraph of that entry, all i could focus on was, "priya doesn't even like blondes..."

Priya said...

RE Jordan's comment: Yeah, that's sort of a point I was trying to make with the last sentence.
The fact that I like brunettes is so deeply ingrained and unchangeable that if I liked blondes I'd be a completely different person. Hahaha.

L said...

In terms of attraction, I cannot stand fair men. I guess we have Thad to thank for that?

The only exception here is Mr. Devon Sawa, whom I've had a celebrity crush on since '95. Also, maybe Daniel Craig, because he's really more dirty blond, right?

(Priya, if you respond to this comment, by GAWD please respond here - I almost had a conniption trying to read the comments between you and John. I say this, of course, with all the love in my heart!!!)

PS - All of you should know that right now, at this very moment, John is playing Madden and singing/speaking along with the song "Over the Moon" from Rent. He's even speaking the echos. It's hilarious.

L said...

And by hilarious, I really mean OH MY GOD WHO THE FUCK DID I MARRY?!

Priya said...

Ooh, Daniel Craig is a good one! But yeah, he's more of a dirty blonde. Very dirty. Mm...ANYWAY.

RE John's Madden Moment: have you ever asked him how gay he is, on a scale of 1-10 (1 being Gregory Peck, 10 being Rupert Everett)?

L said...

He said he would be a four, because he thinks five would imply bi-sexuality.

Oh, and he made me change the ten example to Simon Doonan, because Rupert wasn't gay enough.

I was surprised, though, to see how much he enjoyed answering the question.

Priya said...

Kyle actually gave me a similar answer. Like, if he didn't tell me he was a four, he said 3 and 1/2. Hahaha. For the same reason, too. Five is bi-sexual.

Simon Doonan rules.

Kyle seemed to like the whole thing, too. I think it's because he really enjoys the annihilation of the gender construct (he was the one who convinced me to cut my hair short, and his sister to shave her head), and enjoy that he's modern and sensitive enough to participate in it. And he likes the total honesty that would have to exist between two people for him to be able to divulge that information.

Plus, he wants to be somewhat sanctioned to casually throw the word "gay" around to describe everything.

Kyle said...

Excuse me, but I think I'd be a three. Not a three and a half. Three and a half is pretty gay. I've only ever kissed one guy and it was absolutely awful. This shouldn't even be up for discussion.

I'm a three. The end.

P.S: Robert Mitchum is probably a better One than Gregory Peck. Well...they're probably the same.

Priya said...

Yes, that experience was horrible for everyone. It was like when men see their wives giving birth and can never see their vaginas as anything other than a place of carnage and destruction after that.

It's okay though, because we've all been convinced to do dumb things when we're drunk, and T was a particularly charming gay redhead. Defenses were down, offenses were particularly charming.

Also: *sigh* You're such a number queen. John rated himself a 4 and I haven't heard anything about HIM kissing a dude, so you're at least within 1/2 distance of his score purely by way of actions exceeding the power of words or inclination.

Rolling Meme said...

Yeah, I'll go ahead and mention here that I've never kissed a dude.

Just saying.

Maybe...maybe that makes Kyle a 4.5?


Uh oh, Spaghetti-Os.

Priya said...


Yeah I know, I told him that made him at least as gay (if not gayer) than you, but he's like, "I'M A FUCKIN' 3, OKAY, I'm A THREE."

He's like a 13 year old girl who hasn't yet grasped the concept that nobody knows what size you're wearing - you'll look better if you just wear what fits, even if it is a Large.

Kyle said...

hey, priya, don't talk about me like i'm not in the room. that's fantastically "beverly hills" rude of you. i'm on to you.

and yes, three. this makes john a three or half point variance of both. john, you have to be relaly interested in all kinds of dude on dude activities to be a four, because five is just so bi it's unreal. five is like, bi AND out of the closet, not just like having a girlfriend but jacking off to pictures of dudes. that sounds like four activity to me.

Kyle said...

and i don't care that i misspelled shit back there. i'm gangsterrrrrrrrr.

Priya said...

Hey, I DIDN'T talk about you before, but you ousted yourself as the "I kiss guys on a dare" type, so I thought you wouldn't mind. Methinks sir is offended by the actual material of my comment. Actually, methinks sir doth protest too much.