"It's going to be IMPOSSIBLE to take a picture with this fucking thing. How am I going to get my brother's body AND the top of the building in the frame?" (I eventually did it, BTW, because I'm awesome at photography)
"More than 120 stories? Yeah, that looks about right."
"There has GOT to be a better way to advertise what a tiny penis you have. Wouldn't a phone call have sufficed?"