Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Prague, Day 1

Well, it's technically Day 2, since we got here yesterday and saw the National Museum before bedtime, but...whatever. This is MY blog, and I say it's fucking Day 1.

Today we saw Prague Castle, which was quite interesting in its own way, even if it wasn't quite what we thought it was going to be. There were SO many people there! And it was hot. We also saw the St. Vitus Cathedral and St. George's Basilica. They were really nice, but someone who was more interested in early Gothic architecture or icons would probably have been more interested than I was.

You know what I don't get? The dragon that St. George supposedly killed. WHAT DRAGON?

After that, we went on a Segway tour of the city, which is just as douchey as it looks. However, in the future I'll be kinder to the tourists, since if they're as ill-prepared as I was, they have NO IDEA how to drive those things and are merely holding on for dear life and hoping the blasted machine doesn't run anyone over. As intuitive as the Segways are, they're also completely out of fucking control. And the greatest indignity of all is that they require a degree of athleticism which I evidently don't have. I ended up backing mine into a corner and getting stuck. The tour guide had to come back and drag me out like a stubborn child. Ugh.

And all of that is not to mention the fact that I got YELLED AT by idiots in the street! The first one was a young girl, probably 15, who - feeling safe in a crowd of her friends - said something wretched in her mother tongue. I gave her the middle finger as I went by. Then some OTHER guy asked me, in perfect English, "Can I ride that WITH YOU?" all disgusting inflection and innuendo. So I told him that the Segway unfortunately only held one passenger, but he was perfectly welcome to ride my DICK. And then I drove Segwayed away in a murderous rage. And then my mother crashed hers and almost broke her face (but she didn't. Everything's fine - she only suffered a scraped knee and a loss of confidence, and both are easily remedied), and then it started raining! AND THEN I ALMOST GOT HIT BY A FUCKING TRAIN. Jesus God. No more Segways.

Tomorrow, however, we're going to do some other really cultural shit (haha), like see an opera or theatre or something. Should be good. I remain optimistic. And then, on to Budapest, which gets a mention (however brief) in Dracula, so I'm psyched for that. And then...Venice! THAT is what I'm really looking forward to. The weather looks like it will be much better there, and everyone who's been there before has had very nice things to say about it. I've also been told that the shopping there is quite good...

So that's been the trip so far. People always talk about the Prague nightlife, but the closest my parents have gotten to "letting loose" is ordering a beer at lunch. My dad did it at my mom's insistence - she said that we had to "experience the beer here." GAH! My mom talks about having fun like I talk about sports. Is this the time when the man kicks the ball at the other man from the corner?

3 comments:

Marion said...

That's your girlfriend: girl who knowingly involves herself in family segway tours. She knows what she did. Reminds me of when my parents bought us all Razor scooters and actually expected us to go on family scooter rides. Haha, right.

http://vimeo.com/3839946

drknoll said...

Did you see the Defenestration Window in the Prague Castle? Don't tell me you missed the Defenestration Window.

Priya said...

RE Segways: I KNOW WHAT I DID OKAY. I had to agree because my mom paid for the tour before we even left the states and it was non-refundable. Or it was refundable but there was a language barrier. Anyway, I had no choice but to partake.

RE Defenestration Window: Just because I didn't take pictures of people pretending to throw me out of it does not mean I didn't see it.