Saturday, January 2, 2010


There are things about which I cannot blog. These are the things which seem to be happening to me lately - these are the things which demand the energy I usually set aside for pointless pop culture musings and hilarious conversations.


So I produce (albeit behind schedule):

I went to Las Vegas for Christmas. I know. It's weird. Last time we went as a family it was over Easter weekend a few years ago, which was frowned upon DISTINCTLY by everyone I told. Sorry I'm not like you, guys! Sheesh. This time, however, I was met with only mild concern when I told people. I think the difference in attitude can be accounted for in that I shrugged my shoulders and gave a big embarrassed smile in a Deferential Native kind of way when I was breaking the news.

The first night in Vegas, we ate Japanese food at the MGM grand and saw Ka (which is a Cirque du Soleil show). At first I was really scared that it was going to be that "see the sensual side of cirque du soleil" stuff...actually, I wasn't scared, I was FUCKING TERRIFIED. I think there's a whole sequence of tweets hyperventilating about having to sit through two hours of sexual contortion with my parents. Besides, anyone who's been in the front row at a Cirque show already knows the sensual side of Cirque - yeah...I've seen a lot of things. Things that were barely contained by latex. BALLS IS WHAT I MEAN BY "THINGS". There. It feels better to get it all out! Anyway, it turns out that the sexy cirque is actually called Zumanity (eek) and Ka is about a pair of royal twins whose parents are brutally murdered before their eyes and they have to go on a long journey through the land, finding love and their maturity along the way? That's what the program said, anyway; I personally didn't really get it. Flying shapes.

The second night, we ate somewhere forgettable and then saw CRISS ANGEL!!!!!!!! which was interesting. I mean, my dad got the tickets because he likes the Mindfreak TV show, which, okay, I guess...but I mean, how do we (the audience) not know that it's all camera tricks? I kind of assumed we just assumed that it was camera tricks. Apparently not, though. Anyway, the show was ridiculously bad. I'm telling you guys right now - don't go see the Criss Angel show if you're ever in Las Vegas. It was bad in all the ways that bad magic shows can be bad: every time someone was supposed to disappear, the stage would flood with fire or smoke and when the fire or smoke cleared, the person would be gone. Magic! If by "magic" you mean "they obviously walked offstage while your sightline was obscured by smoke." Though I did learn something interesting about "Criss" as a person: he dresses that way because he legitimately thinks it makes him cool to wear 14 necklaces and tons of Affliction gear. When you see him in person (okay, "in person") you come to realize that he's just a nerdy magician kid who is now 35 or something and never grew out of what a weirdo he was. It's actually pretty endearing - but you all know how I am about uncomfortable nerdy boys. Sigh.

On the last night, we ate at Patio - it's the steakhouse at Bellagio. the overall experience was only meh. Ihe food was great, but we paid A LOT more than I thought it was worth - I mean, my salad was literally just lettuce, tomatoes, and blue cheese dressing, nothing fancy AT ALL: $16: Heart attack. "Bellagio" means "beautiful lake". I think. My brother and I just parsed the word and used our SAT reasoning skills to work that one out.
After dinner, we went to see Love, the Cirque show that has all Beatles music. It was FUCKING INCREDIBLE.

And during every day we went shopping. It was pretty boring, and I basically wore a hole in my foot because DAMN. So much walking.

So that was my vacation in Vegas. I was going to go to California to visit Marion next week (the last week of break before I have go to back to dun-dun-DUN SCHOOL) but my brother just walked in and said he wants me to help him organize his 21st birthday party for the 13th, and then he made puppy dog eyes and asked me to ATTEND said party because if I came and brought some of my friends we would make it "cooler". Damn you little brother. The 13th is on the WEDNESDAY of the week I was planning to spend in CA...I start school on the 18th. It's definitely less time than I originally thought I'd have, but we'll see what we can do, I guess. If not, there's always Spring Break, I guess.

1 comment:

J-Dub said...

You've already failed!