Satan Posing As Meat

There's a new horror movie coming out soon, entitled "Chain Letter". I guess it's about all those chain letters you would get in grade school (first, actual letters with stamps and everything, later...emails in comic sans *shudder*) and how they would threaten you with "bad luck", death, even acne forever, if you broke the Chain. I wasn't aware that that was a widespread phenomenon. I never even figured out how you were supposed to choose the next person to send it to - as far as I knew, there was some secret code for divining who would play this game with fate...but not really. Basically every chain I was a part of died when the letter got to me. I didn't think it was very scary - I mean, comic sans? COMIC is right in the name!
If they really wanted to scare digital age kids, they should have called the movie:

SPAM MAIL - Time to take out the Trash Folder

Speaking of which, I just got this little gem:

Dear Beloved

I am Mrs. Elaine Albin from Malaysia, .I was married to late Engr. Fred Albin,
who worked with Shell Development Company for Twenty-Six years before he died in
the year 2005 after a brief illness that lasted for only five days.

When my late husband was alive he deposited the sum of US$14.5 M in a firm here.
Following my ill health(Cancer of the Lungs), my Doctor told me that I may not
live longer than required due to my health condition.I am looking forward to
seeing someone who can use this money in charitable works. More details will be
made known to you upon your response. May God Bless You.

Mother Elaine Albin.

I wonder who actually falls for this shit. I mean, I would really like to meet someone who lost their life savings on Nigerian Prince emails - I'd like to sit down with that person and get to know them, get to know what makes them tick. Just to see what it's like to stare into the void of human consciousness, a void similar, I'm sure, to the one experienced by the first organism capable of the first thought...a deep hunger, maybe, or longing, for something more. Something...bigger. Something like fate.