Ways in Which Los Angeles Has Wronged Me This Week:
1. Fat girls in skinny jeans (It always makes me cry inside when people don't know what works for them and go for trends instead of sexiness...especially when the result is as terrifying as it is for the fat girls in skinny jeans)
2. Gay boys wearing mascara and tasteful eyeliner (WHY DO YOU LOOK BETTER THAN I DO? WHY?)
3. Pre-op transsexuals wearing JUICY tracksuits and fake French manicure nails (Because JUICY tracksuits are wrong. As are fake French manicure nails)
4. Women over 50, with unnatural eye shapes due to multiple facelifts, thinking they're totally sexy (Self Explanitory)
5. Men over 50, painfully tanned, with visible hair plugs and gold chains (Self explanitory, bonus points if the gold chain is resting on a bed of chest-stubble where the man has resisted re-shaving for a few days)
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