Female audience member: Mr. Colbert, have you been fucking Matt Damon?
Stephen Colbert: Why? Did his dick taste like me?
I think I speak for all of us when I say WHOAAAAA Let's pump the brakes, Stephen.
Starstruck dude: You're Jon Lovitz!
Jon Lovitz: Jealous?
Karl Lagerfeld: I don't want to be a reality in people's lives. I want to be like an apparition.
I love it when Lagerfeld talks, you know? Don't worry KL! You are in NO DANGER of being too real.