Sunday, November 30, 2008

How to Break a Fever

You guys, I'm totes sick today. So I'm going to use this, the last entry of NaBloPoMo 2008, to show you my fail-proof method for breaking a fever.

I know that everyone has a way to break a fever but my way doesn't involve swimming indoors for thirty laps, taking a hot shower, and drinking two shots of bourbon, or whatever it is your grandpa told you. My method has one easy step, it can be used on the first day that you feel sick, it's free, and it works every time. And there's absolutely no bourbon involved, which is great.

First, I have to tell you that I can always be sure I have a fever when I get chills - you know, when you feel strangely cold one minute, and horribly sweaty the next? A common mistake is to cover and uncover yourself as you feel too cold or too hot. I hate this feeling because it keeps me awake at night, it's annoying, and it makes me feel helpless. But no more!

The way to break a fever is to wear a sweatshirt and shorts (leaving the legs uncovered is mandatory), and pile two or three blankets on your bed. When you're cold, this will help you feel a little warmer. The important step is to NOT remove the coverings when you start sweating. LEAVE THE BLANKETS ON. I said that it was mandatory to leave the legs uncovered because at this point, you can stick your feet out from under the blanket and achieve some relief from the heat. However you absolutely must leave the coverings on and sweat. It's uncomfortable, but if you watch a couple of movies and eventually fall asleep out of pure sicky baby exhaustion, your fever will have broken by morning. Guaranteed.

The second, optional, step is to take a shower the next morning. You will feel at least 95% better than you did the night before, or your money back.

Now I'm going to go do my method and I'll let you know how it goes tomorrow.

I am a participant in NaBloPoMo 2008. Post every day in November. That's all you have to do.

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