Hey, hey, yeah, I know I talked a lot of smack about actual writing before. Hookups, and all, remember? But never you mind that. I thought about everything and my brain is broken from last week so fuck it. I'll get around to it sometime but not now.
Kids, that's what happens when you turn 23, have a crisis of personality, and drink yourself stupid for five days in a row. It breaks your brain and everyone thinks you're a failure. Don't do it.
My convalescence will bring substance back to Fairly Alarmed, dear readers. I swear it. In the meantime, here's something pretty for you to ponder while I lie here quietly with a cool compress over my eyes.