1. Make plans for a ridiculously fun weekend, where it has been made clear that your every meal will be eaten at a foodie's delight restaurant. (Check)
2. Fail to prepare appropriately by eating lots of salads and eschewing cheeseburgers. (Check)
3. Consume 6000 calories on Friday and Saturday. (Check)
4. And an additional 1000 calories every night, in alcoholic form. (Check)
5. Get up on Sunday, vow to eat only salads for a week to atone for gastrointestinal strife all weekend. (Check)
6. Successfully eat a light brunch, but for Sunday dinner consume a heaping plate-ful of leftover Indian food. (Check)
7. Monday lunch: scalloped potatoes, veggie burger, bowl of peas, yogurt, chocolate cake. (Check)
8. Let the suicidal thoughts wash over you. (Check)
9. Refuse to apologize. (...Check)
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