Friday, March 19, 2010


Do you ever consider the possibility that Love is only an evolutionary measure to keep us from going berserk and jumping off a cliff en masse (like the Disney myth about lemmings) or tearing each other limb from limb for sport (like the real-life evil doings of lions, chimps, dolphins) - something to keep our species from overthinking just how terrible everything is and eventually dying out? Sociopaths are "abnormal" because they're outliers, unusual, but maybe they're also our baseline - could it be that to have a normal psycho-whatever landscape is to have the Love Hormones in addition?

It's nothing special to fall in love. You do the sexual calculus every day: Strong jaw, thin waist = virile, fertile. The only thing that drives us to stay together is you eventually settle on someone who can function in society with you. You earn the same amount of money, or you're the same race, or you have the same friends, or whatever other excuses we give ourselves. Why promise to stay with anyone, though? One day, I will definitely grow old and die and so will he. Maybe he'll even die first and then I'll have to wander the earth alone...alone and OLD. By MYSELF.

And furthermore: Do you ever get the feeling that all your supposedly spontaneous gestures of deep, abiding affection - brushing your loved one's hair behind his ear when he needs a haircut, kissing the back of her neck when she sleeps beside you - are just things you saw in a movie (and then deployed in your real life, hoping he or she wouldn't notice/remember)? They say that there are only seven stories: every thing you've seen or heard or experienced at all is just a variation on those original themes (really think about the last five movies you saw and try to argue with me on that one). Do we all just say that we've fallen in love because we're supposed to after dating (having sex) for a certain amount of time?
Could it be that "love" really is the concept of always having someone around to catch the bugs you can't, to make you look less gay at work functions, or to tell you you're about to step in something? (Mad love, 30 Rock)

And is it really so bad to believe that Love is the word for someone who you don't want to repeatedly stab through the brain with a fork, and then hang their corpse in front of your house as a warning to others?

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