Monday, May 10, 2010

FairlyAlarmed INTERACTIVE!

I've made tons of jokes about suitors and Bio-Data (it's kind of like a resume of your accomplishments and attributes that you put on the internet - it's kind of like online dating but with the express intent of getting married to a fellow Indian Person instead of just "seeing where it goes"), so everyone knows I think it's bullshit, and I've also expressly forbidden my parents from putting my information on the internet in hopes that I will "find a mate" via the World Wide Web. But who knew I've been in the process of creating my own Bio-Data this whole time?

Hi Priya,

I found you on twitter the other day. I Just got back to India from Houston. I was working for AT&T there. I was in the US for 6 years. I first got an MBA at L University. Then worked for a couple of years as a [redacted] and then as [redacted] for [a company] there. Currently I am in [Indian city] working as a Manager for a small startup company. The following is my facebook profile: [link redacted]

I am 27 years old and plan on getting married soon. I am looking for someone with a similar profile to me preferably in Houston. If you are interested we could chat further. I plan on coming back to US sometime next year.

Thanks and Regards,

So I just stared at that in shock for a couple hours, and finally crafted this response:

Hi X,

Thanks for your interest, but I am not available at this time.

Best of luck,

I mean...I didn't want to let loose on this guy like AND WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU IS ANYWAY because he would have no idea what I was talking about and I would be the psycho in that situation, not him. Wow. So much to say. But this is the risk you take when you message someone with an online blog thingy, guys - she may publish anything you send her. And she may not be as kind as I was with the redactions.


Hi Priya,
I am in no hurry. I am looking at the next 1-2 yrs maybe. Lets just be friends. Who knows what could happen in the 1-2 yrs :).


So now I'm should I respond? And that's where you guys come in!

How do I answer this?

And oh my god, he just wrote me AGAIN.

hi Priya,

What is ur twitter Id?? I forgot it.


Oh you have GOT to be kidding me. Are you EVEN TRYING?! Okay guys, I already know what I want to do, but I already went through the trouble of hacking this damn poll so go ahead and vote to your heart's content! And I shall faithfully follow through.


1 comment:

John said...

If I could have voted more for "FUCK OFF," I would have.

Who gives a wild fuck if you come off as a psycho -- any other course of action would almost make me think you and "arranged marriage" could coexist in the same room for more than five minutes.

Come. On.