Sticktuitiveness

I'm here for day three of NaBloPoMo. Already I've read dozens of people's contributions to the challenge and almost all of them express doubt that they'll finish the month out, or fear at "having to do it again" from the veterans. It sounds like detention - you basically signed up for it by not wearing your shirt tucked in or whatever, and you dread it like the plague, but then it turns out to not be that bad and you come out on the other end a better person for your experiences. Like those wacky youngsters in The Breakfast Club! Why did they call themselves that anyway? 'Cause they're...wacky! Anyway, this post is going to be long and kind of disjointed, because I wrote it over the course of like four hours.

I've been watching Kyle's Family Guy Season 5 DVDs. They're funny, but in kind of a predictable way. Like the Onion. I think they're both right on the money a lot of the time, but how many times can you say "President Bush has done a terrible job and this country would be better served by a child who doesn't even know how to spell the word 'President'" without actually saying...oh.

Oh! Celebrity sighting today! I was walking away from the Whole Foods where Kyle works and as I passed the Starbucks I saw Casey Affleck drive up on the sidewalk on his motorcycle. A blonde girl jumped off the back, and she walked into the store, he said, "remember, I want it ICED."
I'm going to let that little vignette speak for itself.

I think I need to re-learn how to use the internet. Half the time I don't find what I google for, and that is just not right. Something is wrong with the way I'm searching. I just recently learned the importance of the quotation mark, so I'm obviously way behind the times. What I'm trying to do is find a belt that looks like this:



Without costing three hundred dollars. Can it be done? The thing I like is the black stretchy, and the part where there's a metallic clasp in the middle. Here is a close-up.



Maybe I'm just not getting it. I'm probably not getting it. Okay, fine, I don't get it. I'm 21 and I feel like one of those old fogeys shaking their fists impotently at the television after being schooled for the four-hundredth time on how to use the remote. WHAT DO YOU MEAN, WHAT? Webkinz...I've heard of that, it's like a Tamagotchi, right?

In my recent tradition of self-betterment, I have decided to, if not directly modify my eating habits, at least be more aware of what I eat. I see this as the first step to altering what I eat to include more healthy things and exclude more empty calories. I am not going to turn into one of those sugarless/fat-free joyless eaters-for-the-sake-of-continuing-this-pathetic-existence
but-admit-it-I-look-totally-fucking-fabulous girls, but I do know that I occasionally eat because I am bored. And that is just pointless, people.
So, November 1st was my first day of putting this plan into action and so far I have: eaten at Chipotle (which: fuck it, I don't feel bad about this because it's all organic or whatever, and let's be reasonable, I will never ever quit Chipotle as long as I live - I will step over your choking thrashing body to get to one of those delicious burritos), McDonald's, and cooked a batch of brownies. Every day I wake up and go, "today is the day! a fresh slate! new beginnings, etc" and then the next thing I know I'm starving so I grab the first tasty thing available without even thinking. Interestingly enough, I have not yet been hungry enough to make carrot sticks look good. The point is that even beginning to think about what I'm eating is a learning process in and of itself. God, I'm lazy. I don't even have to do anything hard like get up and exercise. All I have to do is think and I can't even do that. Story of my life.

Update on roach situation: The guy came and sprayed last week, and at first we didn't seem to see a huge change in roach activity (still running around in the daylight hours, appearing in the corners with cockroach delight all over their cockroach faces every time a single crumb of food came out of a ziploc bag or the fridge) but now that I think about it, they have made themselves scarce in the last two days. This could, of course, also be due to the sharp drop in outside temperature. Maybe they froze to death. Whatever the cause, hopefully they're all dead and rotting in hell like they deserve. The cockroaches and the bedbugs (or so I hear). I hope it's nice and motherfucking toasty down there, and I hope that all there is to eat is other cockroaches.
- Interesting fact: Cockroaches are cannibalistic. Did you know this? Apparently it was possible for them to get more repugnant.
I'm still getting that boric acid, though. At some point.

Have you ever been to this website, Things My Boyfriend Says? Go there. Go there. Go there now! Go there. Okay, so, it's basically a website of this girl's boyfriend that lists all the funny things he's said. It's very inspiring if you have a funny boyfriend of your own, which I do. I was going to finish this entry with a funny Kyle quote, but I can't think of anything succinct, so here's an amusing exchange between the two of us and a customer at Whole Foods.

*I walk up to the counter, where Kyle and Female Customer with Interesting Hair are in conversation about...meat, I guess*

Female Customer with Interesting Hair: I like your purse!
Me: Thanks! My boyfriend hates it. He says it's silly.
Kyle: I do not.
Me: He does! He makes fun of me for it.
FCwIH: That's terrible. We should punish him. (At this point she hasn't yet gotten that Kyle is the boyfriend I'm talking about)
Me: You go first.
FCwIH: ...?
Kyle: I'm the boyfriend.
FCwIH: ...!?! SHE'S your girlfriend?
Kyle: I know, how did it happen?
Me: I certainly don't remember.
Kyle: Wha -
FCwIH: He's a very nice guy!
Me: At least someone thinks so. So far it's just you and his mom.
FCwIH *concluding business*: You guys have a great day. It was nice to meet you.
Me: Likewise!

*FCwIH walks away*

Kyle: I love you...
Me: Okay.