FairlyAlarmed v.2.0

I think I'm back. Yes, I'm still an alien searching for my homeland but at least I can enjoy my time here. I try to have an open mind about being flexible on vacation so why can't I just say "it's an adventure!" about this? It's an adventure.

Honestly though I'm not sure what it takes to make a blog interesting. I don't want to talk about my relationship because that's private. And I don't want to talk about my family because DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED. This will probably just end up being a place where I post viral videos again but at least you I will know I'm alive.

As you can see I still have my HTML skillz so this transition should be smooth and relatively free of dramz. Enjoy! FairlyAlarmed v.2.0

Anticipating 2012

God. I remember the post I made about being confused about what to "call" 2011. And now this! I'm never going to catch up. This year, I graduated from college, celebrated a lovely anniversary with Boyf, traveled a bit, made new friends, strengthened bonds with old ones, and started my MBA candidacy on the right foot...it was a big year for me and I'm so, so grateful to everyone who helped make it so.

To my readers, I hope 2011 was as good to you as it was to me - and I trust 2012 will be even better! I really can't wait to see what this year will bring.

Love,
-Priya

PS. SEE YOU NEXT YEAR! LOL

2011! Very New, Very Year (so far).

I know this is a trite topic at this point but I am completely serious when I say that my first concern is: what are we calling this? Two-thousand and eleven? Or Twenty-eleven? I cast my vote for the latter, because it lends itself to a whimsically childish pronunciation: "twenty-'leven". Aww.

Second concern: Have we all decided what we're going to do this year to avert or welcome the coming apocalypse? I mean, it's coming up. I'm falling squarely on the "welcome" side, but that's merely a function of my generally cynical outlook and not the obvious result of a miserable 2010. This year was hard in a lot of ways but the optimism I felt at the beginning of the academic year holds; I still feel like things are looking up.
I guess that kind of encapsulates why I so rarely have anything major to say on January 1st - I've always either been in school (and thus, already had a more significant New Beginning moment than one that occurs in the middle of the year by which I live my life), or working a job I hated (and generally pretty cranky about everything). Not to mention the fact that New Year's Eve is one of two nights out of the year that the amateurs come out and act like fucking amateurs...though there was merciful little of that going on at the party I went to, for which I am understatedly, but no less powerfully, grateful...though I did see a pair of rather poorly-disguised prostitutes! But I digress.

Anyway, in 2011 I plan to live a little more like this really is my last year ever: I want to take opportunities I would otherwise be afraid to. I want to experience something wild, something strange, something so completely other that my whole world is changed. When I ring in 2012, I want to look back and celebrate all I have accomplished. But first I want to take a fucking nap. Happy New Year!

OKAY! SO!

So it's been a while. Because I broke my laptop (it overheated lots of times in a row, go figure) and somehow typing these posts on my parents' desktop PC just didn't feel right. The good news is I got a new laptop.

The bad news is I AM STILL JUST AS MIND-NUMBING AS EVER!

Yesterday I started my senior year of college. All summer I felt pretty calm about it, but the more I think about how close I am to the finish line, the more excited I get. I'm a geek. This semester I'm taking Dante (with a fave professor), Abnormal Psychology (which I already know will be hilarious - Excuse me, Professor? When are we going to learn how to diagnose Autism? Just kidding, all my friends are case studies so I'm pretty much an expert, no big deal), Irish Literature (I have to take an English elective and my other favourite prof is teaching this one, so...hell yeah), and some bullshit for my Finance minor. UGH. Next semester promises to be even more fun - this is my last Finance requirement, so basically it's going to be my thesis, Spanish II (after taking it for 7 years in middle school, high school, and my first college), and two other electives.

Being a senior is pretty much going to rule, except for the small, nagging fact that I'm all slated to take the GMAT this semester. So that means studying, prep courses, Pepto Bismol, and lots and lots of questioning my chosen path in life.

So what did you miss while I was a Luddite? Not much, since I was on Twitter like crazy, but:

This summer was pretty much one of the most darkly, emotionally turbulent periods of my life, for reasons I can't/won't go into here, but I have to say that I feel I've come out of the forest now. I have a great boyfriend who is just what I need and pretty much always what I want. My parents and I seem to have quietly reached a shared mantra ("Stay Calm"). My best friends are all happy - even Marion! I got an awesome haircut a couple days ago that looks just as good messy as it does all done up. Oh, and...I turned 24 in July, so stay tuned for when my elderly old bones crumble into dust and blow away in the wind. I don't think you'll wait long - we are, after all, in the throes of hurricane season.

The most pervasive feeling I have tonight, though, is that of optimism. I feel as though I am on the brink of a psychological breakthrough, something that will really, truly make me feel Grown Up, or at least...less of a constant, tossing mess. I wonder what it will be.

The Philosophy of Tolkien's The Lord of the Rings

Here are the relevant excerpts from my Tolkien class syllabus. The stuff I removed was admin stuff like papers, participation points, academic dishonesty policies, and when our final exam is scheduled. The usual.

Texts: JRR Tolkien's The Lord of the Rings, Peter Kreeft, The Philosophy of Tolkien: The Worldview Behind The Lord of the Rings.

Objective: To discover the vision of truth conveyed via the imagination in JRRT's greatest work. We will find that, with the 'veil of familiarity' removed, the great perennial philosophical truths about God, man, and the universe are presented to the mind and heart of the reader, proposed as exemplars for a profoundly wise life both in theory and in practice: the real existence and relevance of God, the nature of man as a rational animal, the objectivity of moral standards, the robust power of the human mind to know the truth with certainty, and excellence as mandatum. Tolkien himself was alive with the love of truth and the knowledge of goodness, and deliberately suffused his work with this spirit.

Method: The course will proceed by both lectures and class discussion. In this discussion, familiarity with the reading is of course required, and ensuing questions, debate, and commentary are both encouraged and expected. It remains, however, to the instructor to provide intellectual order and discipline.

Miscellany: (all that stuff about unexcused absences and laptops/recorders that I mentioned earlier)

And that's it. Yes, the syllabus is filled with yucky touchy-feely language like "heart" (as the seat of morality, not the biological organ), "God", and "love" but I'm going to try and enjoy it as much as possible regardless. I will document my experience and hopefully keep you as abreast of the proceedings as you like. In the meantime, off to dinner, and (in the great tradition of Hobbits everywhere) supper after that.

2010!

New Year's Eve was...well, eventful and uneventful at the same time. What I mean is that it played into exactly what I had been saying about New Year's Eve in the weeks leading up to that night: people try to make it more than it is. It's like who you kiss at midnight really is a portent for the entire year to come. You guys, who you kiss at midnight on December 31st has no more effect on what you do for the next 300+ days than who you kiss at midnight on July 7th does. We know this.
And besides all the trying to expand the significance of the night, the amateurs are out to play on New Year's Eve. It's one of those nights of the year when people who usually don't party allow themselves to "go crazy" (a similar event is St. Patrick's Day - it's like people who are generally pretty sane feel obligated to get thrashed then, too). What that means is that we all get exposed to some very unprofessional behavior.

So last night's episode, then. Eight of us had a very nice dinner downtown at the Grove on Discovery Green - the food was great. But we ended up with a CRAZY bill because we kept ordering bottles of wine and champagne that we didn't need (but finished anyway). Yikes. Then we went down to the Galleria area to a little house party (attended by the host's 50 closest friends) and that was about it. I really liked how calm it was.

The party we went to was wrapping up at about 1:30 - people started filtering out and calling cabs or driving away. But a girl we knew in high school was at this party too, and she wanted to drive. Usually I only have to put up a very mild resistance towards drunk people wanting to drive and they go "mehhh FINE" because they don't want to drive anyway, and if they're presented with a halfway decent alternative they'll go with it. But this girl was really, really convinced that she was okay to drive. I mean, fine, we're all adults and you can make your own life choices or whatever but when you can't walk in a straight line and you're crying, you're going to have to do better than "just LEMME GOOOOOO!!!!!!!" So Devon and I wrestled with her for AN HOUR AND A HALF and finally got her into a cab and dropped her off at her maybe-boyfriend's house. A job well done, really, and I would have to say it was an alright way to spend the night.

Notice that I didn't say it was an okay way to begin the year. Because what you do on the first of January isn't a death sentence to possibility and potential. I think the year is what you make it. Then again, if it turns out that I'm wrong and all those superstitions are based in truth...last night was an okay way to start the decade.

BEHOLD THE SPLENDOR OF MY BEGINNING

UGHHH, you guys. I was not the youngest person in the room last night and it fucking bothered me. Like, it bothered me a lot more than it should have. I guess this is to be expected, since I place so much importance on my intelligence as it relates to the intelligence of people older than I am (my "precociousness quotient", if you will). And it's also to be expected because eventually - in, like, two months - I won't be 22 anymore. PERISH THE THOUGHT. At every moment in time, there's a generation with one foot out the door, and a generation on their way into the room; I am coming to the quick realization that I'm a member of the generation that has one foot out the door. And what am I to leave behind? The more I think about it, the more the very idea of thinking about it makes my skin crawl. Yes, it's all very meta.

I wrote that paragraph like four hours ago and I have no idea where I was going with it. It looks to be a pretty self-contained sentiment: "I'm fucking bonkers." Seems like a pretty universal theory on what the fuck's wrong with me - John told me on Tuesday that he was interested in working with me because I was "clearly pathologically insane". Which, now that I think about it, doesn't bother me as much as it maybe should.

Anything else? I watched Aliens: Resurrection tonight with my dad and brother, and it was fucking awesome, as usual. Other than that, nothing. It looks like everyone I know is staying in tonight - everyone's either drunk and watching TV at home, or out in Clear Lake (fuck that), or "taking the night off", or not picking up their phone/ignoring texts, or out of alternatives (me). This leads me to the discovery that I've very quickly fallen out of the habit of not going out. I'm sitting here in my pj's and still my leg is vibrating incessantly because I think - I'm pretty sure, in fact - that I should be in the car, on my way to the usual adventure. It's 10:30! The night is yet young! And yet, it should have begun by now.
So: tonight is dismal, but tomorrow looks good. Story of my life.

The End of the Beginning of the End

I'm right in the middle of finals week, but I feel like I've already started summer vacation - minus the actual celebrations that would entail - because I had my accounting final today. It went...well. I mean, not as poorly as I thought it might. After all my threatening to commit suicide (Harakiri or the noose? One mass suicide note or many personalized ones?), I ended up just sitting there and doing my math problems quietly for two hours and leaving without creating any kind of bloody scene or anything. I was rather proud of myself and somewhat disappointed. You all know how I love the theatrics and melodrama.

Yesterday I had my Victorian Literature and Chaucer finals. Those went well, too. Vic Lit was a strong point this semester so I rocked it. I'm almost kind of sad that I won't get it back after she grades it because I just know it has "Priya, One of the best in the class! Have a great summer and Don't Change!" written on the top. Chaucer was a slightly larger struggle, mostly because my prof was kind of a bitch and I have no faith that she'll grade me - or anyone, really - with any degree of fairness. We all kind of went into that exam feeling like the die was already cast in terms of our places on the curve. And then she made the following announcement during the exam: "you'll all be happy to know that I just did the calculations in my grade book and you are all passing!" I'LL BE HAPPY TO KNOW THAT I HAVE AT LEAST A C-? FUCK YOU, WOMAN!!! I'LL BE HAPPY TO KNOW THAT I HAVE AN A! Ooh, touchy subject. So anyway, I was in finals from like 3-7pm straight yesterday. I thought it would suck a bunch but it didn't, really.

Tomorrow I have Shakespeare, and then Thursday I have Ethics. I wish they were both tomorrow so I could just knock 'em out one after the other and be done with it all as soon as possible. They both seem like they'll be softball exams. At least, they will be for me, because I'm a genius (don't look at me like that. It's true). Hahaha. So now I'm thinking about what I want to do on Thursday to celebrate my newfound freedom. I want to see the new Star Trek, which I heard was unexpectedly sexy, and then I want a margarita or three, and then I want to drown in the pool. I don't know. The best nights always happen when you aren't planning for them, so hopefully I can just get everyone in the same room at once and hope for the best. It'll be like herding cats! Fun!

I just realized that this marks the end of my junior year. Which means...one more year. And then...and then a lifelong panic attack about "what next??" Sounds amazing. I can't wait. Hopefully I'll just go to law school and hang out there for as long as possible, and then maybe I can just...just...AUGHH okay, let's not get ahead of ourselves...just relax...JUST ONE MORE YEAR AND THEN AND THEN it's going to be okay! Let's *deep breaths* change the subject.

And now I'm making a Summer Mix. Because that's how you know it's officially summer. So far I have some ELO, Bob Marley, and a song that I just discovered: Hot Pants in the Summertime, by The Dramatics. I like that band name! Any requests/suggestions? What songs feel like Summertime to you? Aaaaand cue the deafening internet silence of no comments. At least I tried.

Bye, 2008!

Status

I've been away, obviously. Reacclimating myself to the muggy Houston weather, getting reacquainted with my mom draping herself all over me like a worn scarf, remembering how good it is to see my friends from school. Lots has been going on, and I would promise to get into detail later, but I'm terrible at picking up where I left off. I tend to write here about what's going on in the now. It's pretty Zen.

So, here's what's going on in the now.
I'm going to the south of France tomorrow for 10 days. My family is renting a villa in Nice for the duration, though we will be passing through Paris for a day on our way back home. I'll try to take pictures so I can be a photoblogger too!
I bought my textbooks for Summer Semester I. I'm starting to remember what it was like to be in school, but I still haven't purchased pens or paper or anything useful like that because I can't imagine actually being here for months on end. I haven't even unpacked my suitcase because a little part of me believes that there's no point, since I'll be going back to LA and "real life" soon enough.
I was asked to contribute to a book about my grandfather. I don't know what I'll say yet. On one hand, it's an almost guaranteed publish. On the other hand, what if I'm a bad writer? What if I suck and my friends are being nice!?!? *panic* But I don't really have to think about that till I get back, so I won't.
Flash (my parents' 7 month old German Shepard puppy) is starting to actually act like an intelligent life form instead of being a disobedient poop factory. It's kind of nice to have a dog with manners! He only knows "sit" and "lay down", but I want to teach him that trick where you point finger-guns at the dog and yell BAM! and the dog falls over and plays dead. I think that would be hilarious. I saw a bulldog performing that trick a few months ago and was totally charmed. The visuals were great because he was fat, so standing up or flopped down pretending to be dead didn't look that different.
I miss my boyfriend so much it feels like I chopped off my hand, and it's only been 7 days. Maybe it will get better with time. Probably not; they say phantom pains never really do go away. I wonder what happens to people with hand transplants? Do they feel better? When I go to LA to visit him, will I feel better?
That's about it.

The Last Day of the Year

So, how was that for you? 2007, I mean. I hope it went well. I hope you got what you wanted, and I hope that only in the best way possible. I hope you were healthy, and that people were kind to you, and that you were kind to them, and I hope that you improved and made steps towards a better life. I hope the same for you this year, but for 2008 I will add that I am hereby removing the pressure on you to resolve to lose 15 lbs or whatever. That shit is stupid.

Last night I asked Kyle what he wanted to do to ring in the new year, and he looked at me blankly. We've been invited to a couple things - a party, and goth night at some club in Hollywood - but none of it sounds that compelling. I feel very shruggy about it. I talked to his sister about it, and she has no opinion either and so is no help to me at all. The most coherent thought I've had is that I'd ideally do something with an 80's theme, you know? 80's in '08? There's a nice palindromic ring to it, at least in my head. I'm mostly just excited about having the next 3 days off. I plan on shopping at the Marc Jacobs store on Melrose that a co-worker told me about and straightening out when I'll be in Houston.

I need to revolutionize my life. I need a hobby. I need to read more, and whine less. I need to watch fewer fashion shows and work harder on creating (or nurturing) my own style. I need to write more editorials and actually start sending them out. I need to donate my money to people who actually need things.

So I guess those are my resolutions.

Happy 2008.

Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh by the way, bitch? I'm 21.

Ladies and gentlemen of the fairly alarmed readership,

I'm motherfucking 21 years old today. Today is the day you must bend to my every whim, for today is the day I am totally goddamn unstoppable. This is the beginning of my reign. Power Priya starts today.

That is all,
-Priya

I <3 Blogger

I'm totally thrilling in all the stuff Blogger lets me do. For example: MOBILE BLOGGING. and what I mean by this is not accessing Diaryland through my little sidekick web browser, but writing an email to go@blogger.com and pressing send. WHERE SEND = PUBLISH oh my god. I'm just a beginner here, but I can't wait to learn more.

A New Beginning

Hi, my name is Priya.

You might know me from http://itsfunny.diaryland.com, which I started when I was 15 and in the throes of high school. I've been wanting to start a new blog for a while now because I still love the format of writing informally, but hate that everything I write now as a 20 year old is still in context of the terrible syntax and life choices inherent with my writing back then. I guess this first introductory paragraph is one of the main reasons I've been postponing this move - I can never decide what to say about myself. I know I could just jump into the posting part, but it just wouldn't feel right.

I chose blogger for my new site because I love how easy it is to edit one's preferences. Interestingly enough, there's an option to write all my posts in Hindi, which makes me wonder if they offer this option to everyone signing up nowadays or if they're doing it 'cause I'm brown. Also, the lack of loopy flowers and childlike illustrations of kitty-cats on the sign-in page makes me feel less like I'm writing in my diary about my painful crush on a biology partner.

I realize this doesn't give you much tangible information about me, but I like that. I'm going to start this off by posting some stuff from itsfunny, stuff that never really felt like it belonged there. You can glean whatever conclusions you will about me from my future writing; you'll probably be right.